New Words

A local newspaper in the US recently asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's winners:

1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding a stupid person that stops bright
   ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign
   of breaking down in the near future.
2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of
   getting laid.
3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject
   financially impotent for an indefinite period.
4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person
   who doesn't get it.
6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.
8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
9. Karmageddon (n): its like, when everybody is sending off all these really
   bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a
   serious bummer.
10. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming
    only things that are good for you.
11. Glibido (v): All talk and no action.
12. Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they
    come at you rapidly.
13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've
    accidentally walked through a spider web.
14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your
    bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
15. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the
    fruit you're eating. And the pick of the literature: is both stupid and an
    asshole.